The lead-up to Christmas tends to feel like a race. I galloped and galloped and made it past the post with no major disasters but of course, now I have a cold.
Do you do this? Get sick as soon as the pressure's off? I can pretty much set my clock by it. So here I am in the lull between Christmas and normal life... in bed, drugged up, blowing my nose... Oh well, at least it's forcing me to rest. I guess that's the point.
It's also quite nice to have some fallow time to acknowledge the change of season. All the frantic Christmas festivity is over. All five advent candles have been lit and been snuffed. Winter solstice has been. We're now into proper winter (it's suddenly gotten colder) with the creep towards spring, more daylight, a few hardly bulbs peeking through the soil and the bloom into full summer.
Awww... look at her face!
I have a massive list of chores that I could be doing on in my few days off, but I'm not able to do any of them.
Hopefully tomorrow I'll be up to mattress shopping as our landlord's mattress has really given up the ghost. We got Christmas money to go towards a new mattress and we're itching to spend it. It will be lovely to have a comfy bed.
I'm also looking forward to be healthy enough to get on the wagon of eating nothing but vegetables and taking a daily run. Well, I exaggerate somewhat, but I am a big blob at the moment and need to indulge in the traditional January masochism. Soon, my pretty, pretty...
Ah, the last weekend of sanity before Christmas... We very deliberately kept it low key and thusly had a lovely weekend. Highlights?
Christmas market
There is a market that pops up near our house every few months. This weekend was a particularly big one and there was a lovely singer doing her own take on a range of songs from folk songs to carols and 90's pop songs. We had lunch with a friend and snapped up some local 'Wife of Bath' cheese to take for Christmas. We also got some handmade pies (chicken, bacon and leek) and some locally roasted and ground coffee. I'd been stalking a lovely statement necklace with fuschia and emerald green beads on a brass chain so I *suggested* to my husband that it'd make a good Christmas present.
It was sunny, there was mulled wine and handmade mince pies... Lovely.
Cathedral service
Our normal church was having a kids service so we popped into the cathedral. It's so festive! The choir in robes and ruffs, lighting the advent candle, 10 foot Christmas trees up the front. The only thing I kind of wish they did was incense, but they're not as 'high church' as that.
Also, WHY is it that churches uniformly don't take the opportunity of having more lovely Advent carols? "O Come, O come Emmanuel" is my favourite Christmas song and I haven't had the opportunity of singing it yet this year.
Blaise Castle Estate and Blaise Hamlet
We thought we'd have another go at actually finding the castle in this large local park. We spent a couple of hours walking about there in summer and managed to totally miss the castle.
This time we followed the signs carefully and (after a lovely scenic walk through the woods and several delightful encounters with squirrels) found our way to the top of the hill. There is a surprisingly small 'castle' built on the hill in the 1700s at the request of the rich landowner.
We also had a quick wander around the green of Blaise Hamlet. There are nine of the most riDICulously cute cottages you could imagine. Don't they look like Hobbit holes? You can see some more here.
They were built for pensioners of the Harford family who owned the estate. Imagine being so rich that the housing for your aged servants is designed by a famous architect! (John Nash, in case you're interested). They're all owned by The National Trust now but are still lived in by a few very lucky people.
On our way back to the car we stopped in at the cafe and got pulled (not at all reluctantly) into a lovely carol sing-a-long. There was quite a competant pianist and a group of about 15 from (I found out later) the local church. I had great fun doing the descants on the final verse of carols like "Once in Royal David's City" and doing the male king/ female page thing in "Good King Wenceslas".
Then we mulled lots of cider and ate the pies from the market for dinner with lots of gravy and steamed veg.
What did you do in the weekend? Nice festive things or are you just feeling frazzled?
Brrr... baby it's cold outside! I'm deeply hunkered down into the couch, furry slippers on my feet. I walked home in the dark with a cold wind blowing through my hair and making my ears ache. It's hibernation time.
So, what are some of the pleasures of this time of year?
Mulled cider
Photo: John Wright
I'd never had mulled cider until I moved to Bristol (the South-West of England is a big cider region). I recommend you give it a go as it's delicious!
* Making sure it doesn't boil (or it'll lose all its alcohol)
* Adding traditional spices like cinnamon, a little nutmeg, about six cloves.
* Peel the skin off an orange in small strips and add.
* Be cautious about adding sugar. Use caster sugar so it disolves more easily and taste after every dessert spoonful. A lot depends on how dry your cider is.
* Add an extra slosh of Calvados (apple brandy) or dark rum when serving.
Rugging up
Now it's gotten properly cold I can wear a jumper or cardigan to work all day and not get too hot. Often I'm in a scarf most of the day too. Gloves are a necessity for walking outside and I'm back to being grateful for my warm wool and cashmere duffle coat.
I'm carrying a few more pounds that I have for a while, but winter clothes are so forgiving that I'm okay with it for now.
Also, I can pull tights over my dry, white, unwaxed legs (sounds appealing, non? Luckily my husband doesn't care and nor do I).
Robins
There are many lovely festive things about December but robins are one of my favourite. They sing beautifully, they're unshakably perky and cute, they're quite tame and common enough that you're likely to see them regularly.
The only slightly odd thing is that they're clearly orange at the front, not red as popular culture insists. Wikipedia informs me that the colour name 'orange' didn't exist in England 'till the 16th Century as the fruit hadn't been imported yet.
Anyway, they're lovely and particularly good on bare winter branches.
So, I'm enjoying a nice quiet week at home after all my gallivanting. What about you - are you hibernating or running around like a mad thing? Or is it summer where you are?
So for some reason, the vast majority of my readers are from America. It's a bit odd 'cos I'm a New Zealander by birth and living (and writing about) in England but I really appreciate you guys!
Anyway, as you probably realise, we don't have Thanksgiving here. This is just an ordinary week in late Autumn.
For me, this has been a really tough week. Lots of angst at work, lots of people getting heated, lots of difficulties to negotiate and unmanageably huge amounts of work to do. So, as well as sweating it out at the gym every day (impressive, eh?), I thought it would be a good idea to practise gratitude.
What are the benefits of gratitude?
"More than any other personality trait, gratitude is strongly linked to
mental health and life satisfaction...
Not only is gratitude a warm and uplifting way to feel, it benefits
the body as well. People who experience gratitude cope better with
stress, recover more quickly from illness, and enjoy more robust
physical health, including lower blood pressure and better immune
function." http://ei.yale.edu/what-is-gratitude/
Good enough for me! So, to get on with the gratitude, I am thankful for:
http://jaceksphotos.com/st-mary-redcliffe-church/
The beauty of Bristol, of England, of autumn, of the wildlife.
I still appreciate walking through the park with the streetlights shining through the mist, large plane-tree leaves on the ground, golden leaves on the branches above, quaint cobbled streets and the amazingly beautiful St Mary Redcliffe church lit up to show off its sculptures.
We have adorable blue tits in the tree outside our kitchen window. I regularly see red kites, buzzards and other raptors on my way to work.
My lovely husband
Not to get too soppy on you, but we've been married nearly 14 years and together for over half our lives. He is (to coin a cliche) my rock, my best friend and is generally a good person to have around.
How much I have managed to learn about doing my job
I did a short project management course this week and I found it rather affirming. It was really nice to see that I did actually know how to use all the tools and also some of the traps that you can fall into.
We've also had a bunch of new people at work and again, it has shown up how much I have actually managed to learn. I've still got the rest of my career to keep learning, but it's comforting to see that after about 15 years of work, I have managed to gain some skills.
Food and drink!
As much as I'd like not to be the size of a house, I do love my food. I'm grateful for good coffee in the morning (using our aeropress - it's delicious, try it!) and nice wine at night. I'm grateful for the cafe down the road from work which makes good quality food for reasonable prices. I nipped out for a very late lunch today and got a mix of Greek salad and pasta salad and a chocolate brownie for under £5.
So, happy Thanksgiving one and all and remember to regularly practise gratitude. You can start by telling me one thing you're grateful for, if you like.
So it was my boofday again recently. (I know, again! It seems to come around quicker every year!). Unlike most years, I don't have a list of smaller bits to show you and make you jealous. My big treat this year is a new engagement ring.
A new engagement ring? But haven't you been married for years, you ask? Well, yes I have, but I very sadly lost the diamond from my engagement ring earlier this year. (Note to self: make sure settings are checked by a jeweller every year).
I debated for ages about whether to get a new ring or replace the diamond. Lots of research and searching led me decide on a new ring and eventually to find 'the one'. It's a lovely mid-blue round sapphire surrounded by diamonds to make a flower-like pattern. Lucky me!
I also feel really blessed in my friends and family. I had a lovely day beginning and ending with phone calls from family, punctuated by lunch with my lovely husband and dinner with a group of friends in the evening.
There's a Maori proverb which I really identify with:
He aha te mea nui o te ao?
He tangata! He tangata! He tangata!
What is the most important thing in the world? It is people! It is people! It is people!
Jewels (and presents generally) are lovely, but the best thing is the feeling that people care and are thinking of me. I know that sounds a bit pious and trust me, I do love presents!
In our small flat, we're not allowed to keep a pet. We love cats, so we make up for our lack of cat by borrowing some of the many neighbourhood moggies.
There are four small black cats locally. This pic is one of the two who are brother and sister. We call them 'The Invisible Tabby' and 'The Invisible Tabby's Brother' because in sunlight they have subtle tabby markings.
Then we have another brother and sister pair - Earl and Assam. They have name tags and we approve of their names (named after types of tea) so they've stayed with their given names.
Earl is quite a lot smaller than Assam. They're both nice-natured animals who like cuddles and bits of string. I suspect they're Burmese.
This handsome ginger fellow we named 'Weasley' after the red-headed family in the Harry Potter books. We saw him a bit as a kitten but haven't seen him much since then. In fact this might be the only time he's been in. Either he's indoors a lot or just doesn't hang around near our flat.
We call this cat 'Fluffybum' because she's "so fluffy I could die!" and also she seems to suit a silly name.
She's a sweet little thing - very light and tiny under all that fur. She was being badly neglected by her divorcing family and is a bit skittish (though also affectionate and very playful). She has had a happy ending in that another local couple have adopted her. Now she is always beautifully groomed and looking healthy.
Another couple of gratuitous pics of Earl. This is last year when she battled and eventually defeated our Christmas tree. There wasn't anything delicate on the tree so we let her get on with it. (In spite of Earl being a male name, we think she's female cos she's so tiny).
A slightly younger Earl enjoying some strokes on the windowsill.
This cat we call 'Skinnytail'. It's a nasty creature, prone to chasing birds, fighting other cats and attacking the hand that feeds it cat treats.
This one might just be my favourite. We named him 'Cat Treats' because that's what we call to summon him. Also, he's so lovely and smoochy he's a treat for us. He has been known to roll around on the bed and nuzzle my nose with his nose. So sweet!
He's a Norwegian Forest cat with a big ruff and a foofy tail. His owners don't brush him enough so he gets matted fur. We occasionally have a go at snipping out the worst tangles. He's very trusting and quite happy to be groomed.
So, that's most of our neighbourhood cats. We are very lucky that we get visits to cheer us in our catless state.
I've been noticing a few things about living in England recently that I just wouldn't have known about until I moved here. As a public service I'm warning you about them...
This came up by searching 'faff'?!?
Faff
In case you're not sure, to faff basically means 'fuss, flap, bother,' etc. It can be a verb or a noun i.e. "We can't faff around forever" or "There was the usual faff of getting through airport security". You can also be faffing about.
Let me warn you - there is a reason that this is a particularly English word. The flip-side of the beautifully polite and orderly queueing is a notable inefficiency. For example, even large chain cafes tend to have all their staff doing everything at once i.e. making coffee, taking orders, clearing tables (or not clearing them as the case may be). This is vastly slower than the practise in New Zealand of having a dedicated barista and someone else operating the till. I think the general tolerance of crowds and queues leads to less pressure to keep things moving.
Autumn Spiders
I'm not going to give you a picture of this one! I'm fairly arachnophobic and I've been horrified to discover that it's an actual thing where every autumn large spiders suddenly start coming inside looking for a mate! This never happened in New Zealand (or least spiders came in every so often, but not en masse in one season). So far I've had two in bed at different times, including one crawling through my hair. NOT ON!
Trick paving stones
Here's another good autumn/winter tip - beware of the trick paving stones! English footpaths are covered in all sorts of things from old cobblestones to stone blocks, pavers, concrete or asphalt. If you've got paving underfoot and it's been raining recently, do step carefully. What can happen (and it's happened to me) is that a loose paver gathers a little reservoir of muddy water. When the time is right (i.e. when you step on it), the paver gushes filthy water over your shoes, up your legs and possibly even manages to splash your coat. This will comprehensively ruin your day.
So, just a few handy tips if you're thinking of emigrating or visiting. Are you going to adopt the word 'faff' now? (Try it, it's fun!).
A couple of comments on my last post got me thinking... First of the wonderful Duchesse (go and see her blog, it's a delight) commented that,
"You may not be as pretty as in your 20s but I'll bet you are a more fascinating woman!"
And a friend commented on Facebook:
"
I would agree that everyone gets more interesting as they age, as long
as they take pains to keep their habits and activities fresh and out of a
rut. I'd say you are accomplishing this nicely!"
Excellent words of wisdom! I'll be mulling over this 'facinating woman' idea for some time to come, I think. Trying it on, tweaking it about, seeing if it fits and how I can style it.
I just tried searching the phrase 'facinating woman' and came up with a lot of traditional American homemaker stuff. Ick. Not my idea of fascinating. I'm more in tune with my friend's comment about becoming more interesting as we age by making sure we keep learning and growing.
The Shakespeare quote alluded to in the title is "Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety". My overriding philosophy since moving to England has been 'Try something new'. I wouldn't claim (or want) infinite variety but I have loved stepping out of the old ruts of who I think I am and what I think I do. My younger self wouldn't recognise me in some aspects these days.
I do recommend a seismic change every so often. I transformed myself around age 15 when I found a group of friends who hadn't known me since I was a baby. Being a new context allowed me to work out who I really was, instead of being stuck with the old expectations and patterns. Now with this move I've been freer to do that again.
So
what? Well, I guess I'll keep working on this fascinating thing and see
where that takes me. What do you think - do people get more interesting
as they age?
The phrase 'reassess your level of awesomeness' popped up in a blog, article or comment somewhere in the last week and it's kind of stuck in my head.
I've always been ridiculously confident in my level of awesomeness in areas where I've chosen to engage. I do/ did have a trend of not getting involved in something unless I thought I could easily succeed. My favourite ever school report comment was for Physical Education. It went something like "Eleanorjane needs to learn that cynicism is no substitute for effort". Teachers can't get away with writing stuff like that these days and the world is a poorer place for it!
I have (very sadly and slowly) realised that I'm probably never going to turn heads with my looks again. I was never a 10 in terms of looks, but I did enjoy dressing up and feeling pretty in my teens and 20s. I can still dress up, but I'll never be as pretty as I was...
Anyway, I've had a few experiences lately that I have caused me to reassess my level of awesomeness in a couple of other areas.
Firstly, singing. There's a local group that meets every couple of weeks to jam. We get a set list and I do a bit of practise to make sure that I have some idea of how the songs go. I was excited about last week because one of the songs was 'Rolling in the Deep' by Adele. I had a bit of a practise and even recorded myself to make sure I didn't sound too 'classical'. I thought I had it sorted. On the day though, I got flustered, started off wrong and it was just horrible. Something that should be been a showpiece was so painful that everyone quickly decided that the song was off the set-list for good. I did fine on the other songs, but this really knocked my confidence.
Next, work. We had a big meeting. I was there as one of a panel with a few other folks. When speaking to the whole group, I was interrupted and my comments clearly didn't go down well. In contrast, an amazing senior woman had them sitting in the palm of her hand. I was in awe of how diplomatically she phrased things, how she made small concessions seem like big concessions and managed the whole thing. I wasn't the only one who was impressed as the room went quiet whenever she opened her mouth. I know it's not fair to compare myself to someone with 20 years more experience than me, but still...
So, I'm a bit down tonight. Maybe this dose of humility will be good for me. Or maybe I'll bounce back to my normal optimistic self. We'll see.
The other night I was achy and tired from several nights of poor sleep. My husband was out for the night. I picked up a book and a cardigan, poured a glass of chilled rose, shoved my feet into some shoes and walked out to sit by the harbour.
I watched night fall in stages like a keen stagehand was dimming the lights, bit by bit.The water rippled and scintillated hypnotically, its pattern broken by fast rowing boats pulled by crews straining at the oars.
There was a tapestry of sounds - a single cry from a seagull, swallows flitting and twittering after some final bugs, people laughing and chatting outside the pub, the padding strides and puffed breath of occasional runners...
My cashmere cardigan was warm and soft around my shoulders, the wine was sweet and mellow as I sipped, the book was excellent but I spent long moments just soaking up the scene around me.
"The crickets sang in the grasses. They sang the song of summer’s
ending, a sad, monotonous song. “Summer is over and gone,” they sang.
“Over and gone, over and gone. Summer is dying, dying.”
The crickets felt it was their duty to warn everybody that summertime
cannot last forever. Even on the most beautiful days in the whole year
— the days when summer is changing into fall the crickets spread the
rumor of sadness and change." Charlotte's Web, E. B. White
This is a beautiful piece of writing from a lovely book, but actually, I tend to find Autumn the most invigorating time of the year. Summer this year has been very hot and very, very busy. I've found the heat making me lethargic.
Now they're baling up the hay, the blackberries are ripening, the nights are drawing in and I'm starting to need a cardigan or trench coat. I'm starting to feel a bit of a spring in my step!
I think it's well known that autumn is the most exciting season for fashion, but other treats of the season include moving back to red wine and being able to snuggle up at home in slippers and a comfy hoodie.
Tonight I made a crumble of blackberries picked from wild bushes and proper English Bramley cooking apples. My lovely husband popped out and got Madagascar vanilla cream from ASDA (a supermarket). Yummo!
Can you tell I've fallen off the diet wagon? I did go for a walk at lunchtime, so that's something.
Anyway, what's your favourite treat of the Autumn season? Later on I'll be enthusing about ankle boots and wool coats but right now, picking blackberries is enough for me.
I'm related to a mechanic* and he often rolled his eyes at how badly I treated my car. No oil, no services, not checking the tyres... I even ran out of petrol once or twice. I've gotten slightly better with age and more money. I do get regular services and get nagging issues checked out but I'm still not brilliant at keeping up with the basics.
Still, I was thinking the other day that I'm probably even worse at looking after my body than I am at looking after my car.
I have a theory that people tend to focus on one or two aspects of their lives to the exclusion of the others.
There are lots of different ways you can slice and dice the concept of wellbeing but the main division I see is between body and mind. I know lots of people (myself included) who are prone to treat their bodies worse than they treat their cars - not giving them proper fuel, regular maintance, grinding their gears (okay, the metaphor is getting laboured here...).
Still, why do we do this? Why do we focus on our careers and sedentary things using our minds while our bodies seize up and rust away (metaphorically speaking...).
I've put on about eight pounds (or four kilos) in the last year. It's gradually crept up with more indulgence in 'treats', more takeaways or pre-prepared food and less movement. I bit the bullet (another metaphor... I'll stop commenting on this now) last week did an assessment at the gym. Owch! The results were not good.
So, the worm has turned and so far I've had a good week on My Fitness Pal with diet and exercise. I need to keep doing this for a couple of months at least to get back to where I was a year ago. Then see how I go from there.
I need to remember that I am a whole person: body, mind and spirit. I need to make sure I take time and energy to look after all three. I'm committed to making a change - let's see if I can actually learn this lesson this time!
What about you - how are you doing with your car and/ or your body?
I was brushing on my eyebrows the other day when a couple of memories assailed me. I thought I'd share...
The first memory comes from when I was 12. It was the final year at my small rural primary school. I was enjoying being a big fish before I would be dropped in the big pond of the tough local high school.
Mum had bought tickets to the outdoor summer Shakespeare at the University. She wondered if I'd look too grown-up in an outfit of a stone-wash jeans and a white shirt under a hot pink sweatshirt with my grandmother's diamante brooch at the neck. She even allowed me a touch of matching pink lipstick.
That was one of those moments of transition - from girl to woman. It was also a typical moment of caring and generosity from my mum as she trusted me with the precious old brooch. We enjoyed a night out together doing something that many 12 year olds wouldn't get to do or wouldn't enjoy. I would later study Shakespeare at that University.
The second half of the memory trail leads me to much later, when mum was quite sick with cancer. It was her birthday and we'd organised a big do with all her friends coming, gold and white balloons and a cake with apricot roses on it. For weeks previously she had been unable to stand or walk for long so we weren't sure how she'd cope with the demands of the event.
She got dressed for the party, her white shirt and orange cotton cardigan hanging loose on her. I did her makeup, colouring her in with the colours of health and youth. I brushed on eyebrows and we chose an orange-red lipstick to tone in with her cardigan.
She managed to stay up for the whole party, chatting busily to all her guests, cutting the cake, enjoying the toasts. I told her how proud I was of her and a few people wiped away a tear. The photo of her happily holding up a cup of tea in a toast was the final photo in the montage at her funeral a couple of months later.
I don't know what this goes to show, other than that fact that three years later I still miss her a lot and think of her often. Little things trigger memories, bitter-sweet.
Sorry for the long radio silence - I've had a nasty cold/ cough thing that's taken about ten days to shift. So, what's the news?
Twitter gets me food!
While I was sick, I was on Twitter a fair bit. I saw a local independent cafe (BearPit Social) tweeting about their juices and joked about them delivering as I was sick in bed. A bit of banter later and they actually send someone over on a bike with a delicious green juice and a vegan salad. I didn't have enough cash for both but they bought them anyway and said I could pay them back. Awesome customer service!
The Bear Pit is a massively ill-conceived underpass area surrounded by traffic. It has been the type of place colonised by homeless people where you wouldn't walk after dark, but efforts are being made to bring it back to life. Good on the Bearpit Social Cafe - I wish them well!
New Author - Brandon Sanderson
Also while I was sick, I finished the first book in Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn trilogy 'The Final Empire'. I'm now about 3/4 of the way through the second book called 'The Well of Acension'.The Mistborn trilogy is in the high fantasy genre where quite a few novels are derivative drivel but these ones are pretty good.
They have a nice original premise, they're well written with some interesting (if not quite fully rounded) characters. I think Patrick Rothfuss and Lois McMaster Bujold are much better than Brandon Sanderson. George RR Martin comes second, but Sanderson comes in a respectable third along with authors like Robin Hobb.
Comedy gold
The Bristol Comedy Garden came around again and we had tickets to see Ardal O'Hanlon, Nina Conti and Stewart Francis with MC Craig Campbell. Ardal is best known for his role as Dougal in the brilliant BBC comedy show 'Father Ted' (if you haven't seen it, get hold of a box set and prepare for hours of fun!). His stand up is pretty similar to the endearing, bumbling character he played. Flawlessly confident and skilled, great timing and charm for days. Lovely stuff.
Craig Campbell was also a highlight - he's a Candian living in Devon. Very high energy, a bit crude and shouty but obviously good humoured. He was really funny and his rant about how we should value the NHS had the whole tent of several hundred people howling their approval.
Easy food for parties
We had a really fun blind wine tasting do at a friend's house last night. We tried six carefully chosen wines and guessed at the variety, country, vintage etc. I'm proud that I got three of the varieties right.
Anyway, I got back from work about six and was due there at seven, so what to take for food? My easy-peasy canapes, that's what.
1. Slice a baguette (or French bread) into rounds. Lay on a baking tray and put in the oven for a few minutes. Watch them closely so they get toasted and just golden brown but not too dry.
2. Slather a generous helping of something gooey on them i.e. cream cheese, hummus, chutney, pesto etc.
3. Heap a generous helping of something toothsome on top i.e. salmon on the cream cheese, roasted pepper on the hummus, rare roast beef on the chutney, brie on the pesto.
3. Season and garnish - a little sprinkle of something on top makes all the difference - chives, parsley, a tiny lemon wedge, cracked pepper.
4. Devour! (preferably with little plates or at least nakins as they can be a bit crumby)
These are fine to prepare while early guests are arriving as you can easily give them something to do. I took the toasted bread and the rest of the ingredients with me and assembled at the venue because it was easier than trying to transport the finished product.
So, that's my news. Did you miss me? What have you been up to?
Yesterday while discussing weekend plans, a work colleague admitted that she had a cleaner. I was instantly intrigued. A cleaner, you say, tell me more! Two hours once a fortnight for a reasonable rate - this is fascinating. We can afford it and it would be such a luxury not to be staring at our filthy floor trying to muster the will to vacuum.
BUT. Should two able-bodied folk pay someone else to clean their small flat? Surely we should be able to handle cleaning a few square feet of space without having to hire staff! This brings up all my vague 'bleeding heart liberal' tendencies and also my Scrooge-like thrifty tendencies. I feel a bit uncomfortable about it all.
BUT we both hate cleaning while liking things to be clean. And I'm sure the cleaner would be quite happy to have another couple of hours work a fortnight. We'd make sure we paid a fair wage so we're not exploiting them.
I don't know - what do you think? Is it immoral to hire someone to do something you're perfectly capable of doing yourself?
She was a princess among cats. In fact, when he got her, my besotted husband (actually he was my boyfriend at that stage) named her Princess Mao. Her middle name 'Bitey' came a bit later and for obvious reasons.
When she arrived home from the pet shop, she was grey with flea dirt. She'd just been brought into the shop from a neglectful home. She looked about 8+ weeks old but was actually about 12+ weeks. My mother-in-law donned rubber gloves and washed the poor little scamp in the sink. The gloves were no match for Princess's needle-sharp claws.
Husband bought Princess at cat bed but from the beginning she slept on our bed. I used to wake up terrified that we'd smothered her by accident. I'd put my hand on her belly to feel if she was breathing and try to wake her up. It's quite hard to wake a cat from a deep sleep.
When she got a bit older, she'd take a few weeks sleeping on one of us then swap to sleep on the other one. When I lay on my side, she sleep on the curve between my hips and my ribs. Rolling over was a major operation, but I didn't mind because I loved her company. She was also constantly on my lap as I sat on the couch at night. I generally had a lap rug on me to protect me from kneading paws. If I needed to get up, I could just lift up the rug,
cat and all, then put it back down on the couch.
She was a clever cat - she taught herself to play fetch with shoelaces or toy mice. We'd spend ages throwing these things and her pouncing on them then trotting back with them in her little cat yap.
Princess wasn't much of a hunter, though. In our first flat together, we would occasionally get rats. One time she brought in a lightly wounded rat and let it go to run around the lounge. She totally ignored it while husband and I attempted to catch or kill that darn rat. We had a similar situation with a mouse in another flat - it was obviously not a well mouse because it was really slow but she didn't bother to catch it, she just watched as husband and I flailed around with the broom. Maybe this was her idea of fun!
Leaving her with my mother-in-law after twelve years together was the hardest thing about emigrating. She was our cat baby. Skyping a blur of beige fur just wasn't the same, though it was good to know that she was well looked after. Recently her health issues became too much and she had to be put down. Rest in Peace, Princess 'Bitey' Mao.
I'm feeling quite chuffed with myself. We've recently re-branded and I had a bunch of things to do with that - I got them all done on time*. We've got a big promotion going at a conference next week and I've got all the stuff ready and sorted now - the week before it's needed. I am crossing my fingers and praying that nothing goes wrong at the last minute, but so far it looks like it's all on track**.
So, with a startling lack of humility, I'm going to share my second lot of thoughts on how to get stuff done at work. (My first lot of thoughts are here.) My context is a medium-large organisation. If you're in a small organisation you've got some different challenges.
1. Plan small
I did a short project management course and one of the things that I took away from that (other than the fact that I really don't want to be a project manager) is how easy it is to underestimate the time things take. For example - it may take four hours of actual work for someone to design a leaflet. However, as the project manager, you need to allow about ten days so that a) they can get around to it with all the other work they've got on b) you can make changes to their original design and c) you can get feedback from other people on the design.
So, plan how much you'd like to achieve in the time, then cut your ambitions down by about two thirds. If you get more done, great! If not, you've still done what you said you would within the time frame.
2. Sign-off versus feedback
I've fallen into the sign-off trap many times so now I try really hard to get clear from the start who is actually signing off this piece of work. Then you can make sure they're on board along the way so that you don't get to the end and find out they have totally different which mean you need to radically alter your work.
3. Ask the end users (and staff on the ground)
This is part of the sign-off versus feedback thing and it doesn't really relate to getting things done, but more to making good things. You really want as few people as possible signing off your work, but plenty of people giving feedback. The most useful feedback I get is from front-line staff. I've had a few real 'a-ha' moments with insights that should have been obvious but weren't obvious to me in my blinkered context.
4. Check, double check and triple check
I was getting things delivered somewhere. I asked the company when it would be delivered and asked them to let me know when it had arrived. I phoned and emailed the place where it was being delivered to let them know it was coming. Once I got the email saying it had arrived, I phoned the place and checked that it was being stored somewhere I could get to. So, I'm confident that this particular thing is ready to go for the conference. Overkill? It's much better than finding out at the last minute that something vital hasn't arrived.
Also, check and double check everyone else is totally aware of what they need to do and that it has been done.
5. Find efficient ways of tracking your tasks
Totally up to you how you handle this but do find what works for you and make time to use it.
For all the stuff I had to rebrand, I broke down each step in the process (there are about eight) and tracked each item through each step in the process, updating my chart every week. This way I could make sure that things were kept moving through to completion instead of being stuck on one step.
So - these are just a few things I've learnt so far but I'm sure I've got a lot more to learn. Any tips?
* Well, one bit didn't get done when I planned but it was okay.
** I feel like I'm jinxing myself writing this!
So my non-English readers may not know that the Education Minister (a fanatical little twerp called Michael Gove) has been micro-managing the English education system again, namely changing the books studied by 15 year olds. He has removed a lot of American fiction and replaced it with books by British authors.
Micheal Gove looks pretty much like this...
This has got a lot of people up in arms 'cos one of the main things reading can (and should) do for us is open our minds to different view points and teach us things about different time periods, different cultures, genders etc.
I learnt all I know about English history from reading historical novels while living in New Zealand (so yes, some of the details are a bit confused). Through reading I learnt about what it's like to live as a young aboriginal girl, as a 'bright young thing' in the 1920s, as a child during World War II, as a prisoner is a Russian gulag, as a private investigator in Singapore, as a poor farmer in the Great Depression in America and much more.
You may be able to guess that I was (and still am to a lesser extent) a prolific reader. I was also a secondary school English teacher so I read a range of 'set texts' and other teenage fiction. My experience and research shows that the vast majority of teenagers only pick up a book if forced to at school. It's a phenomenon - when they turn 14, they stop reading fiction (especially the boys).
So, what kids read and study at school is pretty important because it may well be the only books they read that year and may even encourage or discourage ongoing reading habits. As a teacher, I found that if kids enjoyed what we were reading in class, many of them could be encouraged to read around the novel by picking similar authors, similar topics or more books by the same author.
Personally, I can't stand John Steinbeck. I just can't be doing with his depressed world-view. As a precocious 13 year old, I got an A on an essay castigating 'The Pearl' as a novel where things just went from bad to worse for the characters. However, Steinbeck does write books that are at a reasonably easy reading level, have clear themes and are well-written. Removing 'Of Mice and Men' from the curriculum is a stupid mistake if you ask me.
And as for 'To Kill a Mockingbird'! It is a very oddly structured novel, but it's strangely gripping. The theme is still vitally important and Atticus Finch is a fantastic role model. That book should definitely stay and it would make a great link with a history unit looking at racism in America and the UK between the wars.
So what's my point? I guess I'm saying that teenagers should be exposed to fiction from a range of contexts. And Micheal Gove is a twerp.
What's your favourite American novel? One of my top ten is 'St Agnes Stand' by Thomas Eidson (check it out if you haven't already read it).
What do you think about countries emphasising their own literature over world literature?
Also, if you've got a teenager of your own (or know one), here's a handy guide to encourage their reading.
Oh my goodness, I love yoga! Sorry to give the game away so early in the blog post, but really, I do! So I want to share the joy and bust a few myths (Scroll to the end for my caveat).
You don't need to be flexible or fit or young or skinny. A good teacher will encourage everyone to work to their own level and will give different options for the poses. You can even do yoga with longstanding injuries or disabilities.
Yoga is a real workout - with regular practice you gain balance, flexibility and strengthen muscles through you whole body.
Yoga doesn't usually involve spiritual or religious practice (again, it depends on the version you do, but the types I've done don't involve anything more alarming than a few easily ignorable references to chakras.)
I did my first yoga class for over two years last night. I was really tense and stressed - I woke up with a headache due to the tension in my neck and jaw. I toddled along to my gym and met the tiny perky young blonde woman who took the class. We sat and breathed for a bit, we went through various poses and stretches - mostly downward facing dog, lots and lots of downward facing dog.
Supposedly some of the benefits of this particular pose are that it:
Calms the brain and helps relieve stress and mild depression
Energizes the body
Stretches the shoulders, hamstrings, calves, arches, and hands
Strengthens the arms and legs
Improves digestion
Relieves headache, insomnia, back pain, and fatigue
Downward facing dog and the rest of the poses certainly did a wonderful job of relaxing the tension in my neck, jaw, shoulders and hamstrings. To end the class we did a brief relaxation exercise lying flat on our backs on the floor - bliss! Then I floated out, feeling a million times better than when I entered the room.
So basically, I'm enthusiastically recommending that you give it go (if you haven't already). I did Hatha yoga for a couple of years in New Zealand. My class yesterday was Ashtanga yoga which is supposed to be a lot more physically demanding, but actually it was very similar to my Hatha yoga class, just a touch faster in moving from pose to pose. This is a helpful article about the different styles of yoga.
What do you think - are you already a fan? Have you tried it and thought it's not for you?
Update:
I did my first (and last) class with a new yoga teacher last night and now I see why people can be apprehensive about it. It was Ashtanga yoga similar to the first class I did at this gym but the atmosphere was competitive with only one option given for each pose. The (male) instructor adjusted people to help them get into the right position. That's okay but one of my adjustments involved full body contact which isn't my cup of tea with someone I've just met!
We were asked to do quite difficult balancing poses and ended the class with a couple of inversions that were completely beyond me. I sat there feeling like a fool while people attempted to balance their whole body weight on the arms while upside down. Not a great experience. So my summary is, find out as much as you can about classes you're thinking of taking, the teaching style, the difficulty level etc. I've experienced four or five yoga teachers and this is the first one that I couldn't be doing with, so I'm sure you'll be able to find one who suits.
So I'm pretty stressed right now. I've got big work projects due in a few weeks - my reputation is on the line and there are a lot of variables to juggle. And I've got a couple of other big life issues I'm dealing with at the same time. I'm holding it together, but I struggled to sleep until late last night then I was awake and switched on like a light bulb (ping! awake now!) at 6:43 this morning.
(Actually I had a really useful thought about work that I had to email to myself, but still...)
So how do we deal with this stress thing?
In my younger years I had some pretty colourful ways of dealing with stress - mostly getting sick and crashing cars. One year I did my Uni exams in a neck brace because I'd developed torticollis (the muscles in my shoulder and neck went into a serious spasm so I couldn't straighten my neck).
Just before my wedding (and exams and moving house), someone thought they could move their car into the lane that my car was in (nope, they couldn't!). Thankfully that one was judged to be their fault so insurance paid. I also got bronchitis two weeks before my wedding so I got married the first day I'd been out of my sick bed. AND I had a massive pimple! People seemed to think I looked good anyway...
These days I don't crash cars (God willing) and I seem to have managed to teach myself that getting sick doesn't help. But what can I do to cope with the strain? About the only thing I can find to do is comfort-eating. When things get tough, ice cream and donuts help a bit.
If I'm feeling sensible and/or virtuous I force myself to go to the gym. Classes like Pilates really help me remember I have a body and work on relaxing it a bit. A blat on the cardio machines to some pumping music also helps let off some steam. It's just tricky to actually get myself organised and in the door of the place.
Going to church helps to put things in perspective and to keep me focused on not being a bitch even though I'm stressed.
Um, what else? I try not to drink too much wine as it messes with my sleeping patterns and just generally makes me feel worse. Hmm... that's about all I got.
.JPG)
